


What Lies Beneath

by flawsinthevoodoo



Category: Pacific Rim
Genre: M/M, Tumblr: jaegercon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-20
Updated: 2013-08-20
Packaged: 2017-12-24 04:10:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/935163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flawsinthevoodoo/pseuds/flawsinthevoodoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tendo Choi knows there is something off about Herc. He just  doesn't know what.</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Lies Beneath

**Author's Note:**

> This is a Jaegercon fill that got away from me a little bit. It is completely un-beta'd sorry about that.

Tendo Choi is a fairly observant man. He considers himself especially observant about the inhabitants of the Shatterdome. So it does not escape his notice when Herc Hansen, now Marshall Hansen, reaches for his throat in an abortive gesture during their first post-war press conference. Nor does he miss when Herc does it again in a briefing less than a week later or when Herc absently grapples with his collar in the mess hall during some of their dinners together. Tendo sees all of these things but after a little consideration he dismisses it as a tic that he hadn't spent enough time with Herc to spot before, some little minutiae of human behavior that had escaped him. This made him realize how little he really knew about the man that was now leading them. His Herc watching grows from casual glances to habit and the longer he observes the Marshal the more fascinated he becomes. That idle little jerk of Herc fingers still catches his attention from time to time but of late he has other concerns about those broad competent fingers, like wondering how those clean neat trimmed nails would feel running down his spine. For months Tendo contemplates the many facets that make up Herc Hansen and wonders how many more of them are hidden. He wants so very much to plumb those depths, to know the secret corners of that soul. Sadly, every indicator points to Herc being straight and very much not interested in one Tendo Choi. Tendo handles this reality with all of the grace bequeathed him and gets exceedingly drunk whenever possible. It is during one of these nights, when he had striven to become black-out drunk, that he slurs out a invitation to dinner to Herc Hansen who was grinning down at his supine position on the bar floor. Tendo feels his mouth asking the question but cannot stop it, the words just pouring out in a babbling mess. He flinches and thankfully stops babbling when the smile drops off of Hers face and he crouches down next to Tendo on the floor eyeing him with some emotion Tendo doesn't recognize.  
"If I thought you meant that I'd give ya an answer. Now let's get you back to the Dome."  
____________________________________________________________________________________  
When Tendo wakes in the morning with a hangover that would have felled Leatherback he has a weird fluttery feeling in his stomach that has nothing to do with his alcohol consumption and everything to do with the patches of the night before he can fuzzily remember. He had asked Herc out. He had asked Herc out and still had all his teeth, wasn't snarled at, wasn't even gently let down. He had asked Herc out and he hadn't said no. Of course he hadn't said yes either but no answer was better that getting no for an answer. So it was with a light heart and a spark of hope where none had been before that he emptied the contents of his stomach into the conveniently placed wastebasket. After spending his morning recovering from the night before with all of the tricks of the trade learned by habitual drinkers Tendo felt prepared to go off and seek his answer. He found Herc in his office going through paperwork with his new reading glasses perched on his nose and the cute little wrinkle where his brow furrowed. Tendo had stopped in the mess hall to pick up two cups of coffee knowing Herc had probably still gotten up at 5am despite the shenanigans of the night before. He hovered in the door way for a moment just watching Herc work with a fond little smile curving his lips. Herc's head shot up in surprise and the relaxed as Tendo nudged his door wider to get in. This was not the first time Tendo had brought Herc an afternoon coffee but it was certainly the first when Herc might have known why. 

"I thought you might enjoy a cup of coffee given last night" Tendo said with a hesitant smile putting the cup down on a clear patch of desk.  
"Thanks" Herc grunted a grateful look on his face as he reached for the steaming cup. "I could really use it."  
"How goes the battle?"  
"Bureaucrats are almost as nasty as the Kaiju and every time I think I've got this thing solved another form or agency pops up with something else to do." Herc sighed and pushed his glasses away rubbing his eyes tiredly.   
" Well then maybe you'd like to take a break, maybe catch some dinner...with me?" Tendo knew this wasn't subtle but subtlety had never been looked on fondly by Herc. "I never got your answer last night."  
Herc snorted. "You were so drunk I am surprised you remember any of last night let alone whether or not I gave you an answer."  
"I have a remarkable talent for remembering drunkenness and that is still not an answer" Tendo shivered as all of Herc's laser sharp attention is suddenly focused on him.  
"What happens if I say no?"  
Tendo shrugs. "I probably still drag you to the mess and get you fed because I know you haven't eaten in hours. Then we forget this ever happened and go back to being weird friends who get drunk together on weekends."   
"And if I say yes?"  
"We go to the mess and eat, then tomorrow we go out to a real restaurant for dinner maybe even see a movie, we can play it by ear from there."  
Herc sat silently a finger stroking the button at his collar for a moment before grinning  
"Oh what the hell. Let's see where this night takes us."  
"Is that a yes?"  
"Yeah, that's a yes you daft galah" Herc said the blatant affection on his face belying his tone.  
___________________________________________________________________________  
Five weeks into their relationship Tendo knows something is wrong. They would be kissing and Herc would be fine one moment and across the room the next. When Tendo had asked him about it he said it was nothing and that they had just been moving a little fast. While Tendo was prepared to accept that excuse Herc hadn't met his eyes when he said it sending off little warning flag in Tendo's head. Something is wrong with Herc and Herc had lied to him. He stewed on that for a few days still savoring the few stolen moment he got of Herc's time but always watching to see if he could figure out what he was hiding. He knew his watching wasn't particularly subtle but it only made Herc give him that crooked little grin when he caught him so Tendo wasn't worried. In fact Raleigh was the first person to give him any trouble about it.  
"Man Tendo, I know you like the guy but you haven't even seen a single other thing that's gone on in this room since he got here"  
Tendo frowned and scooped up another spoonful of mashed potatoes off his tray. "That is not true. A person can be focused on more than one thing Raleigh" He meant to continue berating the man for assuming he wasn't paying attention when it felt as though his mouth caught fire.  
"If you had been paying attention you would have noticed the lovely red shade of you potatoes from the hot sauce that got spilled in it" Raleigh said mildly as he calmly began to eat his own potatoes while Tendo coughed and sputtered choking on the spicy concoction.   
Mako glared at Raleigh and pushed a glass of milk towards Tendo. "You should not tease those who are in love Raleigh" she scolded as Tendo put out the fire in his mouth.   
Tendo was still sipping the milk as they had an entire conversation in facial expressions. It wasn't very long but it left Mako looking smug and Raleigh with a hangdog expression.   
"I didn't mean to hurt you Tendo. I was just trying to get your attention."  
"Well you have it now. What do you plan to do with it?" He asked grinning wryly.  
"You seem worried all of the time, more so than usual, and you won't stop watching Herc like a hawk even the reporters are starting to notice. I just wanted to know what's got you so worked up? Does it have to do with the breach?"  
"No no. No, it has absolutely nothing to do with the breach. I'm just...frustrated I guess. Herc keeps pulling me close and then pushing me away and I getting whiplash from his changing moods. Something is wrong and he won't tell me and I just feel like I'm missing something. gah!" Tendo watched the thoughtful looks on both Mako and Raleigh's faces bloom and grow as he ranted.   
"Perhaps it is not something you are missing but something he is." Mako said simply as she rose to leave the table  
"I'd listen to what Mako said if I were you" Raleigh encourages as he cleared up his own try "and don't worry so much if anyone could figure his weird pattern of behavior out it'll be you. so cheer up."   
_______________________________________________________________________________  
Tendo pondered what they had both said as he went about his afternoon turning it over in his head thousands of times. Missing. Pattern of behavior. Pattern missing. Missing pattern. What was he missing? What was Herc missing?  
Tendo almost smacks himself when he finally realizes what is happening. He is passing the Kwoon when he figures it out. Raleigh and Mako were sparring and there flashing bright and silver around Raleigh's neck was his answer. Whenever he and Herc are together he pulls away when Tendo has his hands near his collar, when he feels uncomfortable with the press he reaches for his throat, when he is angry at the bureaucracy he pats his chest. Except all of those times he's not reaching for his collar he's reaching for his dog tags. Tendo feels like a real idiot. He knows Jaeger pilots who have any real staying power exchange dog tags, one tag each, so who ever finds the tags, finds them both. And he knows in that moment that if he were to take a close look at Herc tags they would read Hercules Hansen on one and Charles on the other. So of course Herc tenses up when his hands get near them, that's his last piece of his baby boy and of course he reaches for them when he is frustrated or angry, they remind him of why what his doing if necessary. Feeling his own hands tangled in the ever present necklace at his throat, Tendo cannot believe he had missed it for so long, it seemed so obvious.   
\---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
That night as Tendo and Herc sat side by side leaning into one another Tendo broached the subject.  
"You know that I'm never going to leave you right? That I'm in this for the long haul?"  
Herc's face is confused as he replies "What brought this on?"  
"You are always pulling away from me and I know why now."  
Herc stiffened his entire frame quivering with tension and his tone when he tone matched it " And just what do ya think ya know?"  
"Your dog tags. I don't even know if you know you're doing it but whenever I get too close to them you shut down and then you shut me out and I just wanted you to know that nothing about them or you is going to shock me into leaving you." Tendo was wholly unprepared for his partner's reaction. Herc's face crumpled. his shoulders sagged, it was as if he collapsed in on himself.   
"I know ya think you won't. No one ever does but. How long will it take before you can't handle this old man with all of his scars and memories and-" Tendo cuts Herc off, tapping a finger on his lips. He smiles a little sadly at Herc before reaching to undo his bowtie, reaching for something beneath his own collar. There resting around his neck is a thin chain that held what seemed like hundreds of tiny metal shards.   
"These are a piece of every Jaeger we sent out that never came back. These are the men and women I couldn't save. These are my dog tags" He gave a watery smile "So you see, Herc, I carry my own history around my neck."  
Herc says nothing. He simply unbuttons the first three button on his shirt and wraps his arms around Tendo. They sit there hours after the film they were watching ends just relaxing into each other and it isn't perfect. They will fight about secrets and they will grieve badly and alone, they will get drunk and they will have doubts but neither man would ever give up the feeling that was born in that moment in Herc's bunk. It wasn't love, not yet, it was a bastard blend of contentment and acceptance and it was exactly what they both needed.


End file.
